When Life Hands You Lemons...

 Get Perspective. Life is often about your outlook and your attitude. For the most part, I am a realist and an optimist. I like to see the good in everyone. No matter how bad things get, I always try to remember that there is someone who has it far worse than I do. I always try to count my blessings. Life is going to give you lemons---make lemonade. Whatever cliche' works to brighten the mood--I am all for it. After all, life is too short to let it get you down.My Daddy always says that each day that you wake up on this side of the dirt is a good one--make it count. You can be here today and gone tomorrow. The very tragic events in Aurora, Colorado on Friday morning gives us some very real perspective on that.

Even in the moments when I am not feeling positive, I try very hard to keep it in perspective for my children. I want them to learn and understand that life isn't always rosy and sweet. Life is tough. You spend time in valleys far more than you do on top of the mountain. But I want them to know that how they react and how they look at the situation is half the battle.

On Friday, the kids and I went to Asheville to spend the day with my father in law. Now I must admit, I didn't want to go. I was tired. I woke up with a headache. I just didn't want to leave my house. But I knew the kids would want to go and have fun with Poppy so I put aside my own bad mood and decided to go.  And honestly, we had a great time. I always enjoy spending time with my father in law. We took the kids to the YMCA where my in laws are members---the kids swam, played ping pong, colored, played games etc. Fun was had by all...at least until we got to the parking lot to go home.

Someone busted the window in my car (in broad day light in a very busy parking lot), and took off with my red Nine West bag and the kids' iPad. Although my red bag was empty (and thankfully my wallet was inside with me), I had not done a good enough job concealing it in the car and I am certain that it is what lured them to break the window in the first place. The iPad was under the seat but they were lucky enough to find it.

The minute I saw my window broken, I felt the flush of anger hit my face but inside, I knew that my attitude and my reaction were going to be the things that my kids remembered about this event. And of course, I figured it would be a bit scary for them because they had never experienced being robbed. At first, I was thinking, they didn't get much because I knew I had my wallet and my car is full of nothing but goldfish crumbs and french fries. Ian was the one that quickly reminded me that the iPad had been under the seat (and that I was the one that had insisted we bring it along). When I checked to find it was gone, it broke my heart to see him crying. The iPad was their Christmas gift from my parents and it was something that we used all the time. But instead of sharing in his despair, I simply said, "Honey, I know you are upset and it is okay to be upset but remember that we are okay. None of us are hurt and everything that was taken from us was just stuff and it can be replaced." And Ian responded by saying, "But its not fair." And you know, it wasn't fair. But neither is life.

I sent the kids back inside with my Father in law while employees from the YMCA waited with me for the police to arrive. They were so gracious, allowing me to use their cell phones (mine was dying and the thief stole my charger), they helped me clean glass from the inside of the car, they offered kind words, and even walked the perimeter of the parking lot to search for items from my car that may have been disguarded nearby. The officer that arrived was helpful in his own way---and shared in my crappy afternoon--the water pump on his police cruiser busted while he was writing my report and his cruiser had to be towed. But even though his afternoon wasn't ideal, he and another officer went through every surrounding area looking for any of my stuff and he even called me the next morning to check on us and make sure we made it back to Spartanburg okay. My wonderful insurance agent, Tricia, took my call just minutes before she was walking out the door on a Friday afternoon and walked me through the process of what I needed to do. My mother in law drove to Asheville to be with us and my in laws treated the kids and me to supper before we headed home. None of that kindness and generosity was lost on me in that moment.

When we got in the car to leave, Will said, "You know, I wish we could punch that guy in the face for stealing our stuff." While I kind of felt the same way, I reminded Will that we don't return violence with violence. I told him that when people do bad things, those bad choices come back to them. Our job was to  find a way to forgive the person who stole our stuff. A hard lesson but an important one. As Ian was buckling his seat belt he said, "At least they didn't steal our Target coupons." I said, "I know, right? I would have been really angry had they stolen my coupons!" We all laughed and headed home. Perspective.

My car window is being repaired today. We will replace the iPad when we can afford to do so. Life will go back to normal and probably in a few short months, we will barely remember the experience of Friday afternoon. But I hope my kids always remember the lesson. Stuff can be replaced. Gratitude for our good fortune and blessings matter. Forgiveness is required, even when we don't feel like it. Laughter is essential to deal with any crisis. And perspective---our Friday misfortune was so small compared to the real tragedy that unfolded in Colorado. Life handed us lemons but you know, that is just life.

Busy Having Fun!

The Burgess Bunch has been having a great summer---they have gone through 15 cans of sunscreen, devoured at least $800 worth of groceries, swam for hours on end, and added almost 1,500 miles on my car. Phew....and I am tired! We have spent a lot of time in the lowcountry...fishing, swimming and going to the beach. Although I must say, I am not sure these kids are related to me because they don't like the beach that much. What? Ian says, "When you go to the beach you get sand in your britches and that isn't any fun at all!" Whatever. I would rather sit at the beach with a book & beverage than be at the pool any day. So, against their will, I forced them to go to the beach and get sand in their britches more than they thought was fun!

Ian  & Uncle Lee shooting a Roman candle

We had a fun 4th of July--celebrating with food and fireworks with the Newton clan. Most of my pyromaniac cousins were missing from the celebration this year--which did make it a little less exciting and lot less dangerous--but we had a wonderful time! They also spent a lot of time fishing at my grandparent's place. The boys like to get up early to fish while Maggie and I were smart and slept in! Like all good southern belles, she doesn't like to be "hawt" and sweat. Me either. So we let them fish and sweat and get stinky while we played with Aunt Munkey. A much better way to spend our time, I think

Because it would be too difficult to catch you up on all of the things we have been doing this summer (because my blogging has been totally negligent), here is a list of some funny stuff:

As I dressed for work, Ian: Wow, Mom! You look pretty. Are you going to work? Me: Yes. How did you know? Ian: Because you only get dressed up nice when you go to work. The rest of the time, you just wear those black yoga pants and a t-shirt. Me: Well Ian, I don't really see a point in getting dressed up to just stay around the house and clean up. Ian: I guess. It is just really sad that you are only 30 and you are just letting yourself go.

 And when Ian viewed my pictures from my trip to Kentucky for ZTA Convention: Wow, Mom, you look really pretty in these pictures. And you don't have those black yoga pants on the first time. I am real proud of you. (Thanks. I guess?)

On the way to Adventure camp, I am lecturing Ian about the need to drink plenty of water. "Okay Mom. I got it. Don't go all Romeo and Juliet on me!"


Maggie: Sometimes. Sometimes, I just. Sometimes I just got to pee.

Will: Why does this tea taste so bad? Me: Because it is unsweet tea. Will: Yuck! Why are you drinking that? We live in the South and we only drink sweet tea. Ian: That's right. Otherwise you are just a poser.

Will: Life is full of moments that just take your breath away. And there are other moments when you realize, your belly is just fat and ain't nothing gonna change that.   (What? Where does he come up with this stuff?)

Ian while shooting fireworks on the 4th of July: Fire in the hole. Fire in the Hole. Fire in the Hole. This is gonna make you happy, happy, happy. (Too much Duck Dynasty!)

Will: Wanna see me jump in the deep end without my swimmies on? Me: No I don't. Will promptly jumps into the deep end--minus his swimmies--and swims to the side of the pool. Me: Wow, Will that was great! Will: I know right? And I didn't even drown one time!

Will: Wanna see me act like a monkey? Me: You already look like a monkey... Will then jumps from the bar stool about 2.5 feet where he grabs onto the top of the refrigerator, hanging on for dear life. Me: William Truman Burgess! Have you lost your mind? Will: No but I have a feeling that I am in big trouble.

Maggie: Look at my piggies, Will! Don't they look pwetty? Will: Yep. From now on, instead of calling you Fat Belly, we'll just call you Ms. Piggy!