My Kid is Terrific....

Ian being recognized by the Asst Principal
at the Terrific Kid Breakfast at School

Well, actually, all of them are terrific in my eyes. But I am their Mom and I am supposed to feel that way. However, in all honesty and without a smidgen of bias, Ian really is terrific. Anderson Mill Elementary School and the Kiwanis Club of Spartanburg said so. Ian was recognized this week for being a kid of high moral character, full of kind acts and generosity.

That pretty much sums him up. Kind, generous, the kid who always does the right thing. He is wise beyond his years. Just like today...On the way home, we pass by a do-it-yourself car wash. As we are driving past, there were some young girls in way-too-small bikinis washing their cars. I mean, I know the weather was nice today, but it is still March for goodness sake! Anyway, Ian looks at those bikini-clad girls and then looks at me. If this had been Will, he would have likely made a comment about how nice they looked in those skimpy pieces or asked if we could go wash our car. Not Ian. Ian looks at me with a perturbed look on his face that I am sure mirrored my own and said "What is wrong with those girls? Why on Earth would they wear their bathing suits to wash their cars? People are supposed to wash their cars at the car wash, not go swimming. I mean, they barely had any clothes on. I swear, I don't know what is wrong with people!" My sentiments exactly, Ian!

He is so much like me, but I think far more sensitive and compassionate. Just this past weekend, he and I attended our first conference on Mission work. He is completely intrigued by the opportunity to work as a missionary and at the conference, he met missionaries who serve all over the globe. He spent a good bit of time with a woman who serves in Brazil and Ian just fell in love with the work she is doing there with children. We have also been reading about the work of Doctors Without Borders. He is a helper, a doer. He is anxious to go on a mission trip himself. I keep reminding him that he is only about to turn 9. I also keep pointing out that while serving others around the globe is noble work, there are plenty of people in our own community who he can help. So he is researching places in Spartanburg to see what might interest him.

On the 21st, he turns NINE. I cannot believe it. Where did all the time go? I could not be more proud of the person he is growing up to be. It makes my heart so happy to know what he endured in his life as an infant and to see how he has transformed into this truly terrific child. I know that there are many great things ahead of him and I cannot wait to see all of the incredible things he will accomplish. It will be Terrific....just like him!

Drive-Thru Recap...

Why haven't I been blogging? I have failed to include so many great stories in the blog. After all, I created this blog just to record all of the things that the kids do. But no matter how much I try, I can't seem to find the time or the energy to write. Why? THE KIDS! In the hustle and bustle of trying to run the back and forth to school, work and keep our house from being condemned, I am just exhausted.

So to recap...

Ian played Upward Basketball at Cudd Memorial Baptist this winter. He turned out to be a pretty scrappy and aggressive player. He had decent ball control and could shoot but most of all, his little, scrawny hiney could rebound the ball! It makes his former-center on the court--Momma very proud. We spent a lot of time practicing in the drive way. I gave him the full Bobby Savage coaching experience, without as much Marine Corps hollering. At first, he hated the dribble and passing drills. Especially since we went entire practice days without shooting the ball in the basket. But I promised that if he would buy into the Bobby Savage method of coaching, it would make him a better player. I was right. After all, Papa's methods helped me learn to do everything but be a decent free-throw shooter. Probably because Mom wouldn't let him Duct tape my hands together...but that is a whole other blog post.

At any rate, Ian had a great season and he was fortunate to have two wonderful coaches in Clay Houchins and Joe Pepper. Now, without even taking a breath, we start baseball season for Ian and soccer season for Will. How much are gas prices, again?

Will celebrated his fourth birthday. I simply can't believe it. Time went by in a flash. He had a pirate theme party at school. I was terrified about his cake because he had changed his mind about 10 times on the theme and I just knew that when I showed up a school with cake in hand, he would tell me I got the wrong one and tell me I ruined his life. But to my surprise, he loved it! A rare compliment from Will.

The night of his birthday, we went to eat Mexicans (the food, not the people). Will loves to eat Mexican food so he was thrilled that Josh's parents & grandmother were able to join us for dinner. Days before his birthday, I asked Will what he wanted for a present. He sat for a while, really pondering his options. Finally, he looked at me and said, "I can't think of anything that I need, Mom. If I do, I will let you know. For now, though, I am good." Deep down, the kid has the heart of an angel. You just have to peel back a lot of layers to get there!

Maggie has pretty much mastered potty training. She has been using the potty since 15 months old but these days, we are pretty much accident free! I am certainly happy about that! She is talking up a storm, singing a lot and recognizing most of the alphabet. She is big tattle-tale and the boys can't seem to get away with anything anymore. She loves to report to "Will's Mom" all the naughty things he is trying to accomplish.  I don't discourage her....I need all the help I can get! She is really into baby dolls at the moment. In fact, not only do I have to compete for bed space and covers with her, but now her dolls Ella, Susie and Annie. All of them have to come to bed with us and if you dare move them at any point during the night, she wakes up and chides you for it. It is definitely time for her to get her own bed!

This is it for now. We have upcoming birthdays and the big Burgess Bunch Birthday Bash! That's right....we are having one large birthday party for the kids this year. They will probably feel robbed of 2,4 & 9 and need therapy because we robbed them of individualism, but as Will always likes to tell me, "You get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit." So there!

Maggie the Terrible

The Burgess Bunch would like to welcome THE TERRIBLE TWO's into our home for what we hope will be the third and final time! The halls of our home are now filled with the unrelenting scream-wallow on the floor-throw things-tantrum- that make her stop breathing-- that only an almost-2 year old can do. And I hate it. Hate. It.

Maggie is a sweetie pie with reddish brown Shirley Temple locks, and blue-green eyes that simultaneously spit charm and fire. As the only girl, granddaughter & niece, you can only imagine how spoiled she is. It only takes two blinks from those long lashes and everyone around her gives her exactly what she wants. Will, of course, is the worst among us. Whatever Mags wants, she gets. Pacification of her squeals and demands is Will's number one mission in life. And she has learned very quickly what it takes to get everyone around her to do her bidding.

And honestly, I thought Will was bad at 2, and in being honest, he is still difficult, but Maggie the Terrible is possibly worse because she doesn't just act bad, she talks bad. By that I mean, her vocabulary far exceeds her age and she uses her words to slice you in half, scream high pitched darts at you, and when all else fails and she doesn't get her way, you are mean. At least 30 times a day I hear, "Mommy's mean," "Daddy's mean," "Will's mean." At first it was cute but it got old really fast.

As if hearing her tattle on everyone in the house constantly wasn't bad enough, she is starting to write on herself, write on other things, climb on cabinets, and do things that would make Will proud. Ugh. He is probably instructing her to do all of this stuff behind my back. That sounds like something out of the Will Play Book, doesn't it? He is probably getting lots of satisfaction seeing Maggie carry on in his footsteps. And I am not really sure I can handle an entire year of sassy back-talk AND mischievous behavior from ANOTHER child. Seriously.

So tonight, in the midst of one of her "testing moments," I parked her hiney in Time Out for 2 minutes. I have tried Time Out with Will at least a billion times in 2 years and it fails miserably because he would rather eat nails than give me the satisfaction of sitting there and reforming his attitude. But to my shock, not only did Maggie sit in Time Out for the entire 2 minutes, sobbing her eyes out with remorse, but she also got up at the end of her 2 minutes, apologized and hugged me. Hallelujah! Maybe all that practice with Will was paying off. Or maybe, despite her new new found Terribleness, she isn't nearly as Terrible at Two as her brother. One can hope, right?

I love my children at all ages but there are stages that I just really can't stand. Terrible Two's is one of them. I am not rushing her to grow up. After all, she doesn't even turn 2 until April 3rd. But, if she wants to move past this awful, terrible stage faster than slow, that would be alright with me. In the mean time, I am doing my best to just be mean.

I am Not a Maid...

Will and I don't have a ton of great days. We have good days. We have okay days. We have more bad days than I care to admit. As Will gets older, I think I see that we are a little similar. He is bossy. He is independent. He is stubborn. He is determined. All of those things are great for a grown up. I want him to be all of those things. I just don't want all of these things to exist under one roof between a 3 and 30 year old. (Might as well add Maggie to the headcount because she is just like us). Will is strong-willed. I think I wrote a blog all about it once---and how I even read a book to try to remedy it. Let me just say, that the only advice that I garnered from the book that was helpful was to let Will be Will, to love him and mold him and to try to use and appreciate his gifts, no matter how frustrating they can be. I am trying. And I am trying to remember that one day, I really do want him to be a little bossy, a little independent, a little stubborn and very determined. One day.

So like I said, some days are good, some days aren't. But today...today was a GREAT day with Will! First, it was pajama day and for whatever reason, Will loved the idea of going to school in his pajamas. (This is a far cry from Ian, who never trusts days like this. Afraid that he dressed out of character on the wrong day or might some how be embarrassed by my arrangement of a costume, he always makes me pack an extra pair of "normal clothes" with us just in case. AND, we have to watch 5 people exit their vehicle dressed in a similar get-up as he is wearing before he will make his way to class. Seriously, the things you cannot read in a book about parenting.) Will reminded me twice last night that it was pajama day. He picked out the PJ's he wanted to wear. He rounded up his slippers and added his new Lightening McQueen bathrobe for good measure. He slept in his PJ's last night, too, so they would have the "slept-in bed look." There were no fights this morning over wardrobe---an after Christmas miracle.

It was pajama day for Maggie, too, but she only seemed excited because Will was so happy. I was trying to enjoy her giggles over wearing slippers outside because there will come a day in the not- too-distant future when she won't be caught dead outside the house in her pajamas, with pink fuzzy slippers and her hair pulled back in a pony tail. Did I mention that I wish I could keep her with the giggles and not have to face the drama that will come in the future? Her wardrobe meltdowns will probably make Will's look like a day at the beach!

I have my first audition event of the year coming up in three weeks. I changed the format this year so everything will be new and different and working out all of the details is stressing me out. I know in the end it will all come out fine but until it is over, I have asked my family to let me work in my office as much as possible without interruption. After school was out and Maggie was down for nap, Will apparently asked me if he could have a Coke. Huddled under a pile of papers on my desk and a crisis on my desktop, I am certain he asked if he could put on his coat. I mumbled "yes" and went back to my screen. He went to the fridge, popped open a Coke and put it in a Koozie. (the kid in going to have drinks in koozies down to a science by the time he gets to college...)

After slurping it down in what I am sure was less than 5 minutes, he started to get a little busy body. He came back to my office and asked if he could help me. "No" was my response. "Why don't you go get a book and come read it to me while I work." I needed to feel a little like an engaged parent. He went to his room and came back empty-handed. He walked passed my door and went to the kitchen. Then to the living room. Then to the playroom, then back down the hall. I figured he was up to no good, well, because Will is always up to no good. Back in the living room, I heard movement but nothing breaking so I went back to my stack. 2 minutes later, I was startled with a loud sound. No, it wasn't the TV shattering on the floor. It was the vacuum. I jumped up to find Will vacuuming the living room. He had folded all of the blankets, straightened the pillows and returned all of the toys/books to their proper locations. I gave him a thumbs up and headed back to my office thinking it wouldn't last long. But the vacuum kept going. I got up every few minutes to ensure that he hadn't lost interest and left the vacuum running to act as the cover for the no good noise and nonsense that he was really up to. Never put it past Will to create a diversion.

But I was wrong. He vacuumed the living room, kitchen & dining room. He cleaned up all of the toys throughout the house. He cleaned and straightened the playroom. He wiped off the cabinets in the kitchen. He got the dust mop and did a once over. (I vacuumed and mopped all of these rooms yesterday but I didn't care at all). At the completion of his work, he came to get me for my seal of approval. I was so proud---he did an excellent job. It wasn't 3 year old clean up. It was really cleaned up. I gave him some treats, hugged him immensely, praised him for all of his effort, got the phone so he could tell his Dad & get more praise, and did my best to let him know that this is the Will I love best. Because I have so much work to do, I went back to my office, rewarding Will with some TV time. Instead of taking me up on my offer, he went to the playroom. I thought he was going to start working to undo all of his hard work but instead, he started going through the bins to toss toys he didn't play with anymore "for the kids at the shelter that don't have a Mommy as great" as his. Wow.

I was so impressed! He proudly showed off his work when his Dad came home from work. I am sure Josh was happy. Will is much better at house work than me! When Josh left to take Ian to basketball practice, he took Maggie too. Will chose to stay home with me. He brought me the cereal box and asked if he could eat cereal for supper. I told him he could just this one time if he ate some spaghetti later, too. He shook for the deal and then accidentally shook the box too hard, sending some Fruity Pebbles onto his nicely polished floor. I said, "Awe, man, Will. Now the floor will have to be vacuumed again." He looked at me and said, "Well you are going to have to do it yourself. I already vacuumed this house one time today and I AM NOT a maid!"

At least I know he was listening....

Something Special

As a parent, I think the hardest thing to endure is to watch your child hurt; physically, emotionally, spiritually. You want to take on all of their suffering, endure their burdens for them, no matter the cause. Of course, part of life is enduring the many obstacles, mountains, and anguish that life gives and doing so provides life lessons, builds character, and establishes a reality about life. Whether it's a pain that is as small as the prick of a finger or the devastation that comes with real loss, both are as painful (if not more) for the parent as for the child. And even though I haven't been at this parenting thing very long, I don't imagine that watching your child suffer gets any easier--in fact, I am sure that as children grow and life's pain is more tangible, the experience is harder on Mom & Dad. But that pain, those hardships, those mountains have to be climbed by children, no matter how much as a parent, you wish you could stand in their place.

 I have been very fortunate that I have not had to steer my children, yet, through too many painful moments. Of course, there have been scraped knees, hurt feelings, and wonder if God really answers prayers. We have endured a couple of surgeries, some bunk bed calamities, and even some real tears, but we have not bared the burdens that some people have. We've been blessed.

Tonight was one of those times when I prayed with my child to ease his burden and heavy heart. Ian's great grandfather (his biological mother's paternal grandfather) passed away from a heart attack. Ian had not seen him in about a year but there was a time in his life when he saw him once a month and they both shared a love of trains. I wasn't sure what to expect from Ian when Josh and I told him. Kids react to death far differently than adults and Ian hasn't really lost anyone close to him at this age, where he actually understands what is happening.

His reaction was at first a little shock and then came the tears. As my arms swallowed him, I felt my own tears sting my face. Not because I knew this man particularly well but because I know my child holds a place of love in his own heart for him. I whispered words of comfort while simultaneously praying for guidance. Ian was upset that he didn't get to see him one more time. I was kicking myself for not taking him to visit over the last year. I used this as an opportunity to remind him that none of us ever know when our time on Earth is over and that it is important to always treat every day and every encounter with others like it might be a last time. He sobbed harder. And my heart broke harder and the quiet tears falling from my eyes started to dampen his hair.

Then he looked up at me, tears suddenly stopped, and asked, "Mom, was Grandpa Dale baptized?" I felt the panic hit my throat because I honestly didn't know the answer. He continued, "Because if he wasn't, he didn't go to Heaven and I will never get a chance to see him again." My breath left me. On one hand, I was a very proud Momma. For a child to grasp even that much of Eternity is remarkable. But at the same time, I knew I had to tread carefully. I didn't want to upset his tender mind and heart---Ian is a worrier and he would spend the rest of his life pondering his own part in someone else's eternity. That is the heart that God gave him.

I just wrapped him in my arms and whispered that this conversation was one he needed to have with his grandfather, PawPaw Mike, and then I began to pray. Out loud, I thanked God for Ian, for his love of people, his heart of compassion, his precious kindness. I prayed for his comfort and peace, for his burdened heart to be lightened. I also prayed that the Lord would use all of Ian's special gifts, to give him guidance on the man he is supposed to become. I prayed for my own guidance to help him become that man. And I prayed that Ian would always know God's love and grace, that he would never abandon the heart he has now, and that he would always care about the eternity of those around him. We sat quietly for a few minutes and then he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "You are the best gift God has ever given to me, Momma. I really mean that. I hope you know I am always going to remember this moment and you praying over me like that. I felt God holding us right then, loving us together. We are something special, you and me." Yes we are, Ian. So special.

Ian went to bed shortly after and he seemed comforted. I sat on the couch and quietly prayed a prayer of thanks for God allowing me to raise this special child. What a gift. To love him. To share such a touching moment with him. Truly something special.

Christmas 2011

Christmas was a complete success!! We spent wonderful, quality time with our families and unwrapped a gazillion presents from all of our amazing family and friends.
It was Maggie's first Christmas where she was really understood unwrapping presents--at first she was pulling one piece at a time and putting it in the trash but by present-palooza 999, she had the process down pat. She loves her Cabbage Patch baby Ella, vanity, and the Barbie jeep. Her purse, books, and "wip-wip" (lipstick) are also favorites.

Ian was the most excited about Christmas and at 3am on Christmas morning, he was wide awake and ready to open Santa! He loved his Nintendo DS and his iPad. I mean really, what 8 year old kid wouldn't be thrilled by an iPad? Thanks Mom & Dad for spoiling him completely. Even I am thrilled about it, even if I have to ask permission to use it! He got a bike and cornhole boards, which I know he loves. He told me the best part of Christmas was just spending time with me. I love that kid.

  I felt like I spent most of the season convincing Will to believe in the Magic of Christmas. He only wanted to convince me that Jesus loved him regardless of what Santa thought and that Elfie wasn't as magical as I claimed he was. He even went as far as to tell us Christmas Eve that Santa wasn't real at all. I think he changed his mind on Christmas morning because Santa got him everything on his list, but this is Will, so I really have no idea.  He tells me he is most thrilled by his BB gun (maybe he won't shoot his eye out?) and his Scooter. But he loves his bike, the iPad (which was a joint gift for he and Ian), and his Nerf Oozie.

My favorite gift of the year? My rockin' new cowboy boots from my in laws! Love, love, love them! Josh and I don't exchange gifts for Christmas. After all, we have each other's love ;)But he did buy me a purple Snuggie for my birthday and I love it almost as much as my boots!

The gift that out gave all? Our decision to adopt a family for Christmas. We have always helped out with Operation Christmas Child, helped with Angel Tree, given to the Salvation Army, but we have never taken on the task of helping to provide Christmas for an entire family. And compared to other years, this was the year that we didn't have the money to do it.  However, Josh knows the father of this family and he came home a couple of weeks before Christmas convinced that we needed to find a way to help this family.Deciding to do something like this is very typical of me. But Josh? It's not that he isn't charitable. It's just that he doesn't usually volunteer us for ANY kind of project. But I could tell that this family and their circumstances were truly convicting him to do something. So we did. It wasn't fancy and it wasn't anything to brag about, but we did it. We got the kids involved and they were so excited to pick out toys for this family of 6 children. Our decision do to this is also why none of you received Christmas cards from us this year...so we weren't being rude, we were just using that money to pay forward all of the great kindness that we have received this year.

I know our small contribution to this family helped make their Holiday brighter, but for us, it made it radiate far brighter than I could have imagined. When I was wrapping the presents for the family, Will came to me with his most favorite Buzz Lightyear and said, "Mom, you know I love this Buzz, but I would love him even more if he could go to one of the boys in that family." Of course, we weren't asking him to sacrifice his own stuff but the gesture was almost more than my heart could handle. So even if Will wasn't keen on Santa or understand the magic that comes with Christmas, I know that his heart understands the importance of giving, even when we think that we don't have the resources to give. He understands sharing our joy with others. Even at 3, he understood that Jesus' love for us is more important than anything else. And despite all of his misgivings about the magic of Christmas, he ended the year knowing the true meaning of Christmas!

To Be Naughty or Nice?

My children LOVE this time of year! Ian especially. He has the magic of Christmas in his heart and he is so excited about presents & cookies & Christmas trees! I love to see Christmas through his eyes--so innocent and sweet. He also keeps reminding all of us that Christmas is really about the celebration of Christ's birth and that reminder is important, especially for me. I am kind of a Grinch. I love the meaning of Christmas and I love my children's excitement but I hate all of the shopping and present hoopla. Probably why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday--just food & family. But I really try hard to get into the Christmas spirit--for their sakes at least.

We decorated our tree right after Thanksgiving. We wrote our lists to Santa--I only asked for peace and quiet and I hope Santa really comes through for me on that one. Maggie is too young of course, but she at least understands the tree is "pwetty" and loves redecorating it every day---we are playing musical ornaments only there is no music and Maggie is the only one moving ornaments all over the tree. She also walks around saying "Ho, Ho, Ho" a lot but so far, no luck getting her near Santa. Creepy dudes in red suits are best for girls to avoid any way.

Ian's list was modest for the most part. He wants a bike, a Nintendo DS, and for his Dad & me to "take a chill pill." I'm not lying. He really wrote that in his letter. His list was much shorter this year than usual. Typically he marks everything in the Toy R Us Great Big Toy Book. But since he is singing in the Christmas musical at Church, "The Great Christmas Giveaway," he seems to understand that Christmas is much more about giving than receiving.

And then there is Will. My sweet but naughty little Will.

At first, I wasn't sure what to make of his indifference about Christmas. In his letter to Santa, he drew pictures of a guitar, a scooter, and a Nintendo DS. That was all he wanted. (You can tell he is the middle child--he keeps his expectations low). But what puzzled me most was his indifference toward our Elf, Elfie. When we came back from the lowcountry for Thanksgiving, Elfie was on the mantle waiting for us. Ian LOVES Elfie. He wakes up super early every morning and searches the house for his new spot. Will didn't wake up early and he didn't look for Elfie when he did roll out of bed. He seemed especially put off by my warnings that Elfie was there to report back to Santa about being naughty or nice. For the first week, Will convinced himself that Elfie was just a doll. After all, if he wasn't real, then Will could be as naughty as he wanted and Santa would never know. Trying to test whether Elfie contained any magic at all, I caught Will trying to knock him from him perch in the living room with a rolling pin. So, Elfie had to get creative...and be naughty too!

Recently, we have woken up to a Christmas tree littered with underwear, a dining room covered in toilet paper, and this morning, our pictures on the wall had notes from Santa signed by Elfie. While my first thought was Will--you know how much he loves to write on anything other than paper--but Elfie was hanging upside down from a picture with the marker in his hand! Will was beyond thrilled. Finally, someone around the house who was getting in more trouble than him! He is 'all in' now and can't wait to see what Elfie will do next. The little skeptic (who happens to be a lot like his Momma in this regard) finally thinks that Christmas and Santa are fun. I can't wait to see his face in the morning...I just noticed that Elfie is on top of a picture, suspending Woody from Toy Story  from a rope upside down over the mantle. What will he come up with next?