Christmas 2011

Christmas was a complete success!! We spent wonderful, quality time with our families and unwrapped a gazillion presents from all of our amazing family and friends.
It was Maggie's first Christmas where she was really understood unwrapping presents--at first she was pulling one piece at a time and putting it in the trash but by present-palooza 999, she had the process down pat. She loves her Cabbage Patch baby Ella, vanity, and the Barbie jeep. Her purse, books, and "wip-wip" (lipstick) are also favorites.

Ian was the most excited about Christmas and at 3am on Christmas morning, he was wide awake and ready to open Santa! He loved his Nintendo DS and his iPad. I mean really, what 8 year old kid wouldn't be thrilled by an iPad? Thanks Mom & Dad for spoiling him completely. Even I am thrilled about it, even if I have to ask permission to use it! He got a bike and cornhole boards, which I know he loves. He told me the best part of Christmas was just spending time with me. I love that kid.

  I felt like I spent most of the season convincing Will to believe in the Magic of Christmas. He only wanted to convince me that Jesus loved him regardless of what Santa thought and that Elfie wasn't as magical as I claimed he was. He even went as far as to tell us Christmas Eve that Santa wasn't real at all. I think he changed his mind on Christmas morning because Santa got him everything on his list, but this is Will, so I really have no idea.  He tells me he is most thrilled by his BB gun (maybe he won't shoot his eye out?) and his Scooter. But he loves his bike, the iPad (which was a joint gift for he and Ian), and his Nerf Oozie.

My favorite gift of the year? My rockin' new cowboy boots from my in laws! Love, love, love them! Josh and I don't exchange gifts for Christmas. After all, we have each other's love ;)But he did buy me a purple Snuggie for my birthday and I love it almost as much as my boots!

The gift that out gave all? Our decision to adopt a family for Christmas. We have always helped out with Operation Christmas Child, helped with Angel Tree, given to the Salvation Army, but we have never taken on the task of helping to provide Christmas for an entire family. And compared to other years, this was the year that we didn't have the money to do it.  However, Josh knows the father of this family and he came home a couple of weeks before Christmas convinced that we needed to find a way to help this family.Deciding to do something like this is very typical of me. But Josh? It's not that he isn't charitable. It's just that he doesn't usually volunteer us for ANY kind of project. But I could tell that this family and their circumstances were truly convicting him to do something. So we did. It wasn't fancy and it wasn't anything to brag about, but we did it. We got the kids involved and they were so excited to pick out toys for this family of 6 children. Our decision do to this is also why none of you received Christmas cards from us this year...so we weren't being rude, we were just using that money to pay forward all of the great kindness that we have received this year.

I know our small contribution to this family helped make their Holiday brighter, but for us, it made it radiate far brighter than I could have imagined. When I was wrapping the presents for the family, Will came to me with his most favorite Buzz Lightyear and said, "Mom, you know I love this Buzz, but I would love him even more if he could go to one of the boys in that family." Of course, we weren't asking him to sacrifice his own stuff but the gesture was almost more than my heart could handle. So even if Will wasn't keen on Santa or understand the magic that comes with Christmas, I know that his heart understands the importance of giving, even when we think that we don't have the resources to give. He understands sharing our joy with others. Even at 3, he understood that Jesus' love for us is more important than anything else. And despite all of his misgivings about the magic of Christmas, he ended the year knowing the true meaning of Christmas!

To Be Naughty or Nice?

My children LOVE this time of year! Ian especially. He has the magic of Christmas in his heart and he is so excited about presents & cookies & Christmas trees! I love to see Christmas through his eyes--so innocent and sweet. He also keeps reminding all of us that Christmas is really about the celebration of Christ's birth and that reminder is important, especially for me. I am kind of a Grinch. I love the meaning of Christmas and I love my children's excitement but I hate all of the shopping and present hoopla. Probably why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday--just food & family. But I really try hard to get into the Christmas spirit--for their sakes at least.

We decorated our tree right after Thanksgiving. We wrote our lists to Santa--I only asked for peace and quiet and I hope Santa really comes through for me on that one. Maggie is too young of course, but she at least understands the tree is "pwetty" and loves redecorating it every day---we are playing musical ornaments only there is no music and Maggie is the only one moving ornaments all over the tree. She also walks around saying "Ho, Ho, Ho" a lot but so far, no luck getting her near Santa. Creepy dudes in red suits are best for girls to avoid any way.

Ian's list was modest for the most part. He wants a bike, a Nintendo DS, and for his Dad & me to "take a chill pill." I'm not lying. He really wrote that in his letter. His list was much shorter this year than usual. Typically he marks everything in the Toy R Us Great Big Toy Book. But since he is singing in the Christmas musical at Church, "The Great Christmas Giveaway," he seems to understand that Christmas is much more about giving than receiving.

And then there is Will. My sweet but naughty little Will.

At first, I wasn't sure what to make of his indifference about Christmas. In his letter to Santa, he drew pictures of a guitar, a scooter, and a Nintendo DS. That was all he wanted. (You can tell he is the middle child--he keeps his expectations low). But what puzzled me most was his indifference toward our Elf, Elfie. When we came back from the lowcountry for Thanksgiving, Elfie was on the mantle waiting for us. Ian LOVES Elfie. He wakes up super early every morning and searches the house for his new spot. Will didn't wake up early and he didn't look for Elfie when he did roll out of bed. He seemed especially put off by my warnings that Elfie was there to report back to Santa about being naughty or nice. For the first week, Will convinced himself that Elfie was just a doll. After all, if he wasn't real, then Will could be as naughty as he wanted and Santa would never know. Trying to test whether Elfie contained any magic at all, I caught Will trying to knock him from him perch in the living room with a rolling pin. So, Elfie had to get creative...and be naughty too!

Recently, we have woken up to a Christmas tree littered with underwear, a dining room covered in toilet paper, and this morning, our pictures on the wall had notes from Santa signed by Elfie. While my first thought was Will--you know how much he loves to write on anything other than paper--but Elfie was hanging upside down from a picture with the marker in his hand! Will was beyond thrilled. Finally, someone around the house who was getting in more trouble than him! He is 'all in' now and can't wait to see what Elfie will do next. The little skeptic (who happens to be a lot like his Momma in this regard) finally thinks that Christmas and Santa are fun. I can't wait to see his face in the morning...I just noticed that Elfie is on top of a picture, suspending Woody from Toy Story  from a rope upside down over the mantle. What will he come up with next?

Becoming a Mom...

Looking back, my road to motherhood seems pre-destined. In fact, I've always kind of been a mom. For Kindergarten graduation, we provided a theatrical performance--I was Mother Goose. In highschool and in college, I always played the role of Mom---making sure that people followed the rules, turned in their work, and got home safe when we went out. Friends always stayed at my apartment on the weekends---and they never left with an empty stomach. To nurture is my single greatest impulse.

Despite this overwhelming urge to nurture, I didn't really see myself  becoming a mother. I love kids, babysat all the time, and always gravitated towards kids in a room. However, my life goals were all about having a career---children just didn't factor in. But in the fall of 2004, every trajectory of my life changed in an instant. At the urging of a friend, I went on a blind date with Josh. I had no idea that one simple decision would change my life so profoundly.



Josh is a good guy. He is kind, sweet, with tons of manners. He is the kind of guy that wants to take care of you, to treat you with respect, to let you be your own, independent self. While he isn't perfect, he is pretty amazing. From that very first meeting, I knew he was special. However, at 22, I was faced with a reality I wasn't sure I was interested in, regardless of Josh's endearing qualities. Josh was above everything else a Dad. Wow. I wasn't turned off by it but I wasn't sure how it fit into my goals---or how my parents would react. It was a lot to take in. But when every alarm should have been going off and leading me the other way, I didn't turn and run. That nurturing impulse kicked in.



Ian the 1st weekend I met him



After about 6 weeks of dinners and movies, Josh took me to meet Ian.  He had wispy blond hair. He seemed so fragile and he had the saddest blue eyes. When I walked in the room, he was crying. I sat on the floor and he immediately came and settled in my lap. To this day, I can still smell the baby--so innocent and sweet. I read him a story and rocked him to sleep--singing the same lullaby my Mom always sang to me. As I nuzzled my face into his sweet, chubby cheeks, there was a sharp explosion in my chest. At the time, I didn't know what it was but I knew it had just changed my life forever. It didn't matter that I was only 22 and clueless about the road ahead of me. It didn't matter that I wasn't even sure if I loved Josh yet. It didn't matter that all of my goals didn't include this path or these choices. The emotion I felt for this little boy that I barely knew was all that mattered and in my deepest heart, I knew that every path led me to that moment and to being his Mom.

This fall marks 7 years since that sharp explosion---I know now that the life altering ache in my heart was something only a mother can feel. It was an overwhelming feeling of love for my child---I felt it the first time I held Will and Maggie, too. In 7 years, that sad-eyed baby has grown into a smart, happy, and loving boy. He is a joy that fills my heart every single day. And even though we don't share the same biology, I hope he always knows that my love for him is just as pure and heart-stopping as it is for his brother and sister. I hope he knows that all of our "Broken Roads" led straight to the love we share today--that we were always meant to share this life together and that it was always God's plan for us to find our way to each other. I hope he knows that becoming his Mom meant following my heart and ignoring my head--something I always want him to do, too. I hope he knows the blessing he has always been to me and that I am so grateful that he sees me as the "best Mom (he) ever had!"

My favorite pic of me & Ian (age 3)

Tonight, he sat in my lap for a while with his long legs dangling out of the chair. I treasure these moments because they don't happen that often anymore. As I was enjoying my moment, I got a whiff of his hair and I felt that explosion in my chest all over again. I squeezed him tight and he looked over his shoulder and said, "Mom, I am glad God found a way for us to find each other. Even if it meant you having to put up with Daddy." Me too, Ian. Me too. Such a small price to pay!  

Candy Hater...

The Burgess Bunch got all sugared up, ran around April's neighborhood and collected enough candy to last until Easter. Yesterday was simply a sugar fest. From classroom parties with cupcakes to chocolate and candy pieces, I am pretty sure my children didn't ingest anything that was healthy at all. UGH....

Did I mention that I loathe candy? I am not much of a sweets person but I really can't stand candy. It is sticky, creates outbursts of uncontrollable glee in my children,  it causes cavities, and it is sticky. I don't do sticky. My kids know I don't like  it and only indulge them twice a year---Halloween and Easter. And for real, the candy that they got yesterday will last until Easter. I have already found a good hiding spot for their buckets and candy will only be doled out when they do something extraordinary, like clean the toilet.

I know my stance on candy makes me kind of a mean mom but I get it honest. My mom never let us have candy growing up, and I think that is why I don't care for it much now. Josh, on the other hand, is a candy fiend. He loves it more than the children. If the candy from yesterday really does make it to Easter, it will because my hiding spot is remarkable. And he gets his love for candy honest too. His Mom is the grandma that always has some sort of treat in her purse. It's her trademark.

Despite my contempt for Halloween in general and candy in particular, I did dress up. At least according to Will. Donning jeans, a black sweater and scarf, Will told me he loved my costume. "Did you dress up as a Mommy for Halloween?" Why yes I did. Ian, of course, couldn't leave it there. "Yeah, you are a Mom alright. At least you wore jeans instead of those black yoga pants you are so fond of." I am not sure what Ian has against my black yoga pants. According to him, wearing yoga pants more than 50% of the time is "letting yourself go."

The Ninja, Tiger, and Fairy enjoyed trick-or-treating with the young Harry Potter. The boys rode their scooters through the neighborhood (which really wasn't as great of an idea as it appeared). They aren't THAT good of riders and I was pretty sure we might end up in the ER with a broken limb before the night was over. Will carried a sword with his tiger costume, which left a lot of people stumped. He explained that he carried a sword because was a fighting tiger. Duh. Maggie could have cared less about the whole ordeal. She must take after me. She hated her costume, didn't want to wear it, and refused to get out of the stroller when we got to each house. So she rode in the stroller and ate M&M's while Will carried her bucket to each door with him to collect her candy. He did it willingly and I thought it was just because he was being nice. But about 6 houses in, I realized he was going through her bucket and taking out all of the good candy to put in his bucket, leaving her with the scraps. At least he was getting her something, right?

In the end, it was a good night. Even though I hate the candy, I love seeing them have so much fun. After all, that is what Halloween is really all about. And just know, if you come to my house and want some candy, you have to clean the toilet first!

Goodbye to Mimi....

I want my kids to think I am cool. Not their friend. Just cool. On Friday, Will thought I was. "Mom, you are such a rockstar!" What had I done to garner such praise? I had 5 kids (3 of them in carseats!) and a kid-size 4 wheeler stuffed in the minivan--which I loaded in the carpool line at school. Oh yeah, I am a rockstar. Of course, my status didn't last long. To Maggie right now, I am anything but cool.

On Saturday night during the Clemson game our neighbor, Russ, somehow convinced Maggie to throw her pacifier, Mimi (yes the Pacifier had a name like she was a real, live person), in the trash. Maggie, attempting to be a big girl and impress everyone, threw Mimi in the trash. Because she was so brave (and it was she who did it and not me), I seized on the opportunity to kick the paci habit. She is, afterall, 18 months old and absolutely obsessed with it. That of course, sounded like a bright idea at the time. 3 days later, I am pretty sure the person who was the most tortured in this experience was me.

Saturday night she did okay going to sleep without it. She was very tired and feel asleep on the couch. Sunday morning she did okay until time to leave for church. She always has it in the car and on the drive to church, she reminded me every second of the 4 mile trek that Mimi was missing. After church wasn't much better. She actually lay in the floor and begged me for it. She went to my closet and searched in every pair of shoes on the off chance that she had hid one inside a shoe. At church on Sunday night, I warned her teacher that there was a very good chance that she might tackle a classmate in an attempt to steal their paci. Luckily, she didn't stoop to such a desperate low.

Sunday night, there was very little sleep gotten by me. She fought sleep and then woke up 4 times during the night begging me for it. In an attempt to console her, I rubbed her back. Instead of lulling back to sleep, she grabbed my hand and screamed, "Dop (stop) It! Dop It! No touch me!" Heartwrenching. I wanted to give it back to her. Really I did. In fact, what little bit of sleep I got, was done with Mimi in my hand, tucked under the pillow. It took all of my mighty will power to stop the urge to give in. But I kept thinking, "We have come so far. Tomorrow will be better."

Mags attacking Will. I did break up the fight,
 after a picture of course!

Well, it wasn't. Will was sick and Maggie was in full longing for her Mimi. She cried the entire drive to school and the entire way back. I thought seruiously about driving her to Charleston and leaving her with my mom. Afterall, she was the one who gave her the pacifier to begin with. She should have to at least suffer with me.

Instead of asking me for Mimi, she began asking for her "paci," as if to make it clear to me that Mimi was the paci and was not to be confused with something else. She cried for 45 minutes straight at nap time, and then the entire way to school, sitting in the car line, and all the way back home yesterday afternoon. She even attacked Will, who kept trying to console her and tell her she would be OK without her Mimi. Poor Will felt so sorry for her that he petitioned me six times on her behalf. When I wouldn't give in, he asked God to intervene during prayer time. "God, please make Mommy give Maggie back her Mimi. If she won't do it, make Maggie feel better about missing it." So sweet but God did not intervene to give back Mimi. However, perhaps He did intervene to make her feel better about missing it. She slept all night and didn't ask me for it this morning. We seem to be over the worst of it. At least, I hope so.

These are the milestones that are hard. The ones that hurt. And honestly, it hurts a lot to think she is too old to have Mimi anymore. It hurts to know that she is in the midst of potty-training and soon diapers won't be a reality in my life anymore. (OK, so I am not all that upset about that one. Just the part that she is big enough to wear big girl panties.) It hurts to know that my baby years are coming to a close. It seems like just yesterday, Ian was a little toddler who loved for me to rock him to sleep. Now, I can no longer pick him up. It hurts to know that time goes so fast. But it does.

So, goodbye Mimi. You were a good pacifier and you gave me a lot of peaceful quiet. There is no one who will miss you as much as me. And even though I am not cool for throwing you in the trash, I know the time has come. Peace Out.

Catching up...

Sorry for taking so long to get back to the blog. We have been SO busy!

My mom was here last week. It was so great for her to be here. She spoiled the children immensely---took them to McDonald's to get breakfast before school, let them eat ice cream, bought them a ton of clothes, and read them story after story. I know it's what grandma's are supposed to do but it is amazing to see how much my children have transformed the woman who raised me. Not at all the same person.

Our Saturday's have been spent watching football---Clemson football. Since they have started out 6-0, we have been glued to their performance on Saturday's. Our neighbors, Russ & Kim, come over with their children/friends, April & Cole come over, and we cheer on the Tigers with lots of good food and fun. The kids play and we watch the game. That food, friendship, and WINNING, has made it a great fall!

Sunday we went to my in-laws for lunch after church. I got to visit with my sweet nephews Silas and Eli. We got to go for a walk to see the leaves changing and then drove up the top of Skyuka Mountain in NC to see the leaves. Another week or so and the leaves are going to be perfect!

The children are doing great. Ian is doing extremely well in school. Mostly A's and a few B's. This week, we have been doing a report on black widow spiders and building a model of a spider. Ian loves science and history so it has been a lot of fun doing projects and reading with him.

Will has managed to stay on green every single day since school started. We all know how big of a deal that is! We have been singing the 5 little pumpkins song over and over every day. He is also spending a lot of time drawing. I like that a lot more than flipping upside down off the couch!

Maggie is in the midst of potty training and she is breezing through. It is hard to believe she is old enough to be in this stage. She is learning her animal sounds and loves to read.

Thanks for being patient while I took time to catch my breath!

The Ladies Man....

Will is many things---smart, affectionate, stubborn, independent, stubborn, witty, stubborn---and now apparently, quite the ladies man. Of course, he dotes over Maggie like she hung the moon, but how his attitude persisted outside of our home was somewhat a mystery to me. He adores his "girlfriend" Madi but I know after spending too much time together, he will say she "gets on my nerves" or "she is aggravating me." This probably has less to do with Madi and more with Will being stubborn as a mule.

His teacher told me yesterday that "all of the little girls" in Will's class love him. This infatuation is apparently more than just adoring Will from afar. In fact, their love for him is creating quite a stir in the classroom. Mr. Casanova is so popular that the girls are arguing over who gets to sit with him at snack, who gets to be in centers with him, stand next to him in line and play with him on the playground. I have had  several of the other moms tell me that their daughters "just love Will" and are always talking about him at home. When I was dropping him off the other day, a girl was literally wrapped around her mother's leg, begging not to go into class. In the midst of her meltdown, she saw Will walking into class and like a switch, she immediately stopped crying, let go of her mom and followed him. Wow.

I was curious about Will's reaction to this popularity. His teacher said that in some ways, he probably encouraged them because he is "so sweet and kind" to everyone. And yes, I did clarify that she was talking about my child. She reported that he helps the girls on the slide, talks with them and plays with them. But she said she can tell that he gets aggravated with their desire to spend so much time with him. He is, after all, a total boy's boy. I imagine his tolerance for tea parties, dress up and playing house is pretty limited.

This morning, on the way to school, I asked him about the girls in his class and if they liked him. Will: Yes they do. Me: Why do you think they like you so much? Will (looking at me with a very matter of fact face): Well...you know, I'm kind of a big deal. Me (Spitting Diet Coke into my windshield): WHAT? Will: I mean, I'm a good lookin' guy. And I'm fun. I know why they like me. Me: Well maybe its less about how you look and more because you are nice to them. Will: Yeah. I mean I'm nice. They're all pretty. It works for us.

WHAT? If this is 3, I can't imagine what happens when he hits puberty--probably a big heaping pile of trouble.

I guess the bright side is that he is making friends and his teacher thinks he is a really sweet kid. It's good to know he is capable of acting like he is supposed to act--even if that never happens at home. But it is an adjustment living in the house with such a popular child. I guess when he eats ice cream out of the container without permission I have to think twice about reprimanding him. After all, he is "kind of a big deal." Geez....