Celebrating Aunt Gayle

From L to R: Grandma Ruby, Wanda & Aunt Gayle

Josh's Aunt Gayle was a special woman. Strong. Independent. Stubborn. Loyal. Loving. When she was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer, doctors didn't give her a lot of positive hope. But she dug in her heels and fought a long, courageous battle. She lived longer than most anticipated, leaving us to joke that Jesus had a few things to get in order in Heaven before he could deal with her! I was so blessed to know Gayle. From day one, she treated me a like a daughter. She and Ronnie made the long drive to Charlotte with us many times when we were seeking custody of Ian and rejoiced with a celebration when we finally got to bring him home. Every time Ian went down to her house to go fishing with Ronnie, she would buy all of his favorite treats. She put her own good name on the line to help Josh get the job at Blue Eagle when the company he was working for closed. She believed in him and every step he has taken in his career and the success he enjoys, he owes to her. She loved to hear stories about Will's antics--his adventurous spirit and his stubborn streak. She could appreciate his desire to be tough and strong because those were things she valued in herself. And when Mags was born, she was thrilled! Especially since her Maggie Kate got her middle name from Gayle's mother, Katie.  She really meant the world to us and life just won't be the same without her.

I was truly honored when Wanda asked me to give the family remarks at Gayle's funeral. And because several people have asked for me to post, I have included my remarks here:

Gayle will be missed by all of us—because she was simply an extraordinary woman who was an exceptional wife, mother, sister, aunt, colleague and friend.  I was fortunate enough to marry into Gayle’s family. My Mother in law was Gayle’s niece and it is through Wanda’s eyes that I tell you Gayle’s story. 

Gayle was born in Jonesville to Claude and Katie Petty. She was the baby in her family. In fact, because she was only 12 years older than Wanda, she was much more like a sister than an aunt. She always called Wanda the daughter she never had. From the time Wanda was born, Gayle was there, helping with her, and helping to keep her sister Ruby company while Truman worked nights. Ruby was afraid to be alone at night—but not Gayle.  She wasn’t afraid of anyone or anything, except maybe spiders. Gayle went along on family vacations and her constant presence made a formative impact on Wanda. She always admired Gayle’s beauty—her gorgeous red hair and perfectly done makeup. She often propped Wanda up on her vanity and did her face up with make-up—fake eyelashes and all—often to the dismay of her sister Ruby! Ruby would always tell Wanda that she was going to grow up to be just like Gayle and Wanda simply couldn’t imagine growing up to be any other way. And Why not? Who wouldn’t want to grow up to be a strong, vibrant and independent woman like Gayle?

Gayle was a professional woman, serving as a purchasing agent for Roebuck Builders for more than 25 years. She was beloved by everyone who worked with her because she prided herself in doing her job well and doing it right. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind and everyone appreciated her honesty and her integrity. But where Gayle flourished most was in the home. From Gayle, Wanda learned about all about fine food and decorating. She could make a meal that was as down home as Paula Dean and as gourmet as Julia Child. None of us will ever forget the Christmas she had us all down to her house for dinner. She prepared the most gorgeous prime rib that we had ever seen. But as she was taking it from the oven, the meat promptly fell on the floor. Every single one of us devoured that prime rib like it was the last meal we were ever going to get---because her cooking was THAT good! 

The only skill that Wanda had that Gayle did not was a green thumb. And over the years, Wanda tried to teach her a few things about gardening. When Gayle got sick, her friend Margie gave her a beautiful orchid. Gayle gave the orchid love and attention and it thrived—or so she thought—everyone who came to visit would comment on how beautiful the orchid was and Gayle was so very proud that she had managed to help this beautiful flower grow. Weeks later, Margie came to visit Ronnie in the hospital and Gayle simply couldn’t wait to tell her the success story of the orchid—a vibrant beauty that adorned the window sill, soaking up the sun and love from Gayle. After going on and on, Margie got a twinkle in her eye and broke the news to Gayle that the orchid was fake! Gayle really got a good laugh from that, especially when she needed it most.

Gayle has many legacies. She means something special to each of us. But her greatest legacy is that as a devoted wife and mother.  Married to Ronnie for 51 years, he was truly the love of her life and she always prided herself in her ability to care for him. Her son Todd, already with her in Heaven, was her entire life, the very breath that she breathed. Because of the love given to Todd by Ronnie and Gayle, Todd lived a tremendously impactful life, devoting himself to work at the Deaf and Blind School and touching the lives of every single person that he met.  His life was a testament to the lives of his parents and while we find solace in knowing that they are reunited in Heaven, we know that we will miss them both so very much.

For Wanda, Ronnie and Gayle have always been such an integral part of who she is—from her wedding and marriage to Kevin, the births of Josh and Heather, each milestone they accomplished, their weddings,  and the births of their children. Gayle always said that Wanda’s children were her children and the grandchildren were her grandchildren. In fact, when Gayle was sick, she would ask Wanda to tell her all about the grandchildren—the funny things the Jackson boys were saying or have Wanda read the latest adventure from the Burgess Bunch. Their happiness brought her peace and comfort because she loved those babies so much and they truly loved her. She was such an important part of who we are as a family and the  void left by her absence can never be filled. 

And while we know Gayle would appreciate this outpouring of love for her life, she would want to thank the many people who cared for she and Ronnie while she was sick. Her best friend Billie, her cousins Ruth, Perry & Pat, her favorite nephew Danny, her friends Sandra, Mary Ruth, Mike, Hazel & Steve. Her devoted sister Ruby. The people of Hospice took such good care of her and we cannot thank them enough for the love they gave her in her final days. 

You know, for many, death feels like a very final stage. An ending. The final chapter in a book of life. But Gayle knew differently. She knew that when her journey on Earth was finished, it was really just a beginning--The time when she got to reunite with her parents, Todd, and her risen Savior, Jesus. 

The Bible tells us that to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord. And while we are deeply saddened by her passing, we find comfort in the memories we hold dear and in knowing that Gayle is exactly where she wanted to be—in the arms of Jesus. Thank you to each of you for coming today and celebrating Gayle’s life with us.