Let's Get This Summer Started!

SUMMER!! Longer days, lots of water, fresh food, bottomless glasses...and hopefully, more blog posts!

 The Burgess Bunch hasn't stopped being fun kids to hang around nor do they lack entertaining blog material.  However, their packed schedules have kept their Mom very busy...and very tired! So to catch you up...

Everyone finished the school year alive---Ian ended the year with all As and Bs and is promoted to 3rd grade! Will will go to 4K and Maggie will go to the 2year old class in August! During the last month, I spent most days at award programs, class parties, field trips, and music programs. Add in church and baseball and I am pretty sure my car never stopped driving around Spartanburg.

We started summer off on the right foot by spending Memorial Day weekend as a family in the lowcountry.It really doesn't get much better than that! The kids were anxious to see Hana & Poppa--and so was I!

We started our trip to Edisto Beach with a stop at King's Market. The King family is my second family and the kids go in like they own the place. I am pretty sure Ms. Bonnie & Mr. Rett have a hard time making a profit with freeloaders like mine! The kids went right in and got an orange soda and a large bag of Mr. Rett's boiled peanuts (in case you don't know, they are the BEST peanuts in the entire world!). Aunt Munkey caught up with us there and after a quick visit, we were off to the Beach!

The weather & water were perfect. The kids saw lots of jelly balls that had washed up on the shore. We saw 3 live horse shoe crabs and found 2 skeletons. They had a blast and we were able to relax & enjoy them ---except for when a wind gust blew our umbrella down the beach and nearly impaled a lady...I was running & screaming for her to look out. She was so busy reading Fifty Shades of Grey that she nearly was speared to death! Oh Fifty! :)

The boys went fishing 2 days of our trip. They went to my Papa's pond and caught about 35 fish, and because Josh took them, there were no decent pictures! Will learned to cast the rod&reel and managed to pull in a "Daddy" fish that was about 8 pounds. He was so proud! He also threw his entire rod in the pond, which Josh had to wade in to get! Maggie & I spent time with my Nanny the first day they fished because she was "Hawt" (hot) and didn't want to "do dat fish."

She instead wanted her scheduled "naked time." I told you before that she is a major streaker---during Spring Break, she got naked in the Chick-Fil-A play area. Aunt Munkey & I had taken her there for her birthday and while the kids were playing, Chrissy & I were chatting with a friend of our family who is a Baptist preacher. To my horror, I look over the preacher's shoulder to see Maggie's naked butt cheeks pressed up against the glass. "Oh shit!" fell from my mouth before I could remember my manners (in front of a preacher, no less!) and I spent 20 minutes chasing her around the play area, up & down the slide, trying to dress her. After that, I begged the pediatrician for advice on keeping her clothed. The solution was scheduled times of nakedness. I usually let her have two 30 minute birthday suit options per day with times that are absolute no naked time---public places, the front yard, on the trampoline, etc. And I thought Will's schedule from last summer was brutal!! However, total props to our Pediatrician--this scheduled time is magic!

However, I digress....Sunday, we went to my sister's house and grilled out & played cornhole. And Monday, we worked in my Dad's garden harvesting veggies to bring home. Ian and Will were supposed to help pick green beans. Will did well wandering between Josh& I at the green beans and my Dad cutting okra. Ian complained over every. single. green. bean. he. picked. I finally told him,"If you picked beans as much as you complained, we would be finished already!" He liked that comment less than picking beans. But he hung in there and helped us get the work done--and he and Will slept all the way back to Spartanburg!

It was a trip that was too short but there will be many more! Tomorrow is my first full day of all three kids home for summer break since I worked at the office today. I have green beans to can tomorrow so they will be busy helping me snap beans but I dust off that schedule on Thursday and we get down to the work of living peacefully together for 3 months until school starts back...of course, I will have to pencil in Maggie's naked time!

Stay tuned for a summer full of Burgess Bunch Adventures!

Streaker

There are a lot of places I don't like to take my kids. That list includes pretty much any place one would go. Grocery store, Wal-Mart or Target, the DMV, eating establishments, the doctor, etc. etc. The more children in my possession, the less likely I am to leave the confines of my house. It it just too much effort and the reality is that they make any simple errand or task take twice as long, I lose my mind and forget half of what I went for, and 7 out of 10 trips, someone melts down, there is a fight or they embarrass me in some way. Just. Not. Worth. It.

However, if I never left the house, I would A. Be a weird Hermit and B. We would starve and stink. Thursday morning is the only day I have where I am child-less. But I can't get everything done in 3 hours. So this morning, Will BEGGED me to go buy him new crocs. Being the awesome Mom that I am, I decided I would make the 15 mile journey to Gaffney where there is a Crocs outlet. But it is Monday, not Thursday and that meant that Maggie had to come with. Now, some days, Maggie is a good shopper. She likes Sam's (because they serve food) and she does OK for short run-in-to-pick-stuff-up trips. However, she is about to turn two next week and her temperament is as predictable as a woman going through menopause. She is one tantrum laced, meltdown city just waiting to explode.

But off we went and to my surprise she was being very good. She got a little ancy at the Crocs store when I was taking too long to make a selection but for the most part, she was happy and excited to shop. So when we finished there, we ventured over to The Children's place, Carter's, Oshkosh...no meltdowns. I was feeling really good and started to feel confident that this was going to be a really productive trip to the outlets. As I passed Ann Taylor, I decided to go check out a cute turquoise dress that I thought would be great for ZTA Convention this summer. Dress was awesome but it was $109.00 and well, I am too cheap to pay that price for one dress. Maggie seemed a little miffed about our stop in AnnTaylor but she was still OK. So I went into a store because I wanted to buy a new bra. In we went, and of course, they didn't have my size of the particular one I wanted so I asked the lady to check in the back. As I was waiting for her, I had my back to Maggie. BIG mistake. In just a minute, she had wiggled herself out of the stroller and grabbed a package of little girl panties from the wall. Hearing the sound of ripping, I turned around to find Maggie buck naked. She was going to try on these cute little panties but when she saw me turn around, she knew she was in trouble....and she takes off running....through the store....as naked as she came into this world. And lately, let Mommy chase me around naked is her newest and most favorite game. She is squealing with delight at the top of her lungs, running around the store with me in hot pursuit behind her. She would run around the racks and just as soon as I would lunge to grab her, she would dart under the rack and out the other side. Everyone in the store was watching me chase her. Some I am sure thought it was cute. The sales ladies didn't find it amusing at all.

I eventually was able to corner her after she took a wrong turn and hit a dead end. When I finally got my hands on her, she squealed with delight and laughed so hard that she proceeded to pee all over me. She laughed harder. Fabulous. I quickly dressed her and walked out, forgetting completely that I wanted to purchase a bra. It was the least of my wardrobe requirements at the moment. And after that little taste of freedom, she refused to get back in the stroller and the meltdown came, fast and furious. So over my shoulder she went as I dragged the 2 kid stroller behind me all the way out to the car. Embarrassed, pee soaked and exhausted, I made the 15 mile journey back to Spartanburg, pondering the thought that becoming a hermit may not be such a bad option after all.

My Kid is Terrific....

Ian being recognized by the Asst Principal
at the Terrific Kid Breakfast at School

Well, actually, all of them are terrific in my eyes. But I am their Mom and I am supposed to feel that way. However, in all honesty and without a smidgen of bias, Ian really is terrific. Anderson Mill Elementary School and the Kiwanis Club of Spartanburg said so. Ian was recognized this week for being a kid of high moral character, full of kind acts and generosity.

That pretty much sums him up. Kind, generous, the kid who always does the right thing. He is wise beyond his years. Just like today...On the way home, we pass by a do-it-yourself car wash. As we are driving past, there were some young girls in way-too-small bikinis washing their cars. I mean, I know the weather was nice today, but it is still March for goodness sake! Anyway, Ian looks at those bikini-clad girls and then looks at me. If this had been Will, he would have likely made a comment about how nice they looked in those skimpy pieces or asked if we could go wash our car. Not Ian. Ian looks at me with a perturbed look on his face that I am sure mirrored my own and said "What is wrong with those girls? Why on Earth would they wear their bathing suits to wash their cars? People are supposed to wash their cars at the car wash, not go swimming. I mean, they barely had any clothes on. I swear, I don't know what is wrong with people!" My sentiments exactly, Ian!

He is so much like me, but I think far more sensitive and compassionate. Just this past weekend, he and I attended our first conference on Mission work. He is completely intrigued by the opportunity to work as a missionary and at the conference, he met missionaries who serve all over the globe. He spent a good bit of time with a woman who serves in Brazil and Ian just fell in love with the work she is doing there with children. We have also been reading about the work of Doctors Without Borders. He is a helper, a doer. He is anxious to go on a mission trip himself. I keep reminding him that he is only about to turn 9. I also keep pointing out that while serving others around the globe is noble work, there are plenty of people in our own community who he can help. So he is researching places in Spartanburg to see what might interest him.

On the 21st, he turns NINE. I cannot believe it. Where did all the time go? I could not be more proud of the person he is growing up to be. It makes my heart so happy to know what he endured in his life as an infant and to see how he has transformed into this truly terrific child. I know that there are many great things ahead of him and I cannot wait to see all of the incredible things he will accomplish. It will be Terrific....just like him!

Drive-Thru Recap...

Why haven't I been blogging? I have failed to include so many great stories in the blog. After all, I created this blog just to record all of the things that the kids do. But no matter how much I try, I can't seem to find the time or the energy to write. Why? THE KIDS! In the hustle and bustle of trying to run the back and forth to school, work and keep our house from being condemned, I am just exhausted.

So to recap...

Ian played Upward Basketball at Cudd Memorial Baptist this winter. He turned out to be a pretty scrappy and aggressive player. He had decent ball control and could shoot but most of all, his little, scrawny hiney could rebound the ball! It makes his former-center on the court--Momma very proud. We spent a lot of time practicing in the drive way. I gave him the full Bobby Savage coaching experience, without as much Marine Corps hollering. At first, he hated the dribble and passing drills. Especially since we went entire practice days without shooting the ball in the basket. But I promised that if he would buy into the Bobby Savage method of coaching, it would make him a better player. I was right. After all, Papa's methods helped me learn to do everything but be a decent free-throw shooter. Probably because Mom wouldn't let him Duct tape my hands together...but that is a whole other blog post.

At any rate, Ian had a great season and he was fortunate to have two wonderful coaches in Clay Houchins and Joe Pepper. Now, without even taking a breath, we start baseball season for Ian and soccer season for Will. How much are gas prices, again?

Will celebrated his fourth birthday. I simply can't believe it. Time went by in a flash. He had a pirate theme party at school. I was terrified about his cake because he had changed his mind about 10 times on the theme and I just knew that when I showed up a school with cake in hand, he would tell me I got the wrong one and tell me I ruined his life. But to my surprise, he loved it! A rare compliment from Will.

The night of his birthday, we went to eat Mexicans (the food, not the people). Will loves to eat Mexican food so he was thrilled that Josh's parents & grandmother were able to join us for dinner. Days before his birthday, I asked Will what he wanted for a present. He sat for a while, really pondering his options. Finally, he looked at me and said, "I can't think of anything that I need, Mom. If I do, I will let you know. For now, though, I am good." Deep down, the kid has the heart of an angel. You just have to peel back a lot of layers to get there!

Maggie has pretty much mastered potty training. She has been using the potty since 15 months old but these days, we are pretty much accident free! I am certainly happy about that! She is talking up a storm, singing a lot and recognizing most of the alphabet. She is big tattle-tale and the boys can't seem to get away with anything anymore. She loves to report to "Will's Mom" all the naughty things he is trying to accomplish.  I don't discourage her....I need all the help I can get! She is really into baby dolls at the moment. In fact, not only do I have to compete for bed space and covers with her, but now her dolls Ella, Susie and Annie. All of them have to come to bed with us and if you dare move them at any point during the night, she wakes up and chides you for it. It is definitely time for her to get her own bed!

This is it for now. We have upcoming birthdays and the big Burgess Bunch Birthday Bash! That's right....we are having one large birthday party for the kids this year. They will probably feel robbed of 2,4 & 9 and need therapy because we robbed them of individualism, but as Will always likes to tell me, "You get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit." So there!

Maggie the Terrible

The Burgess Bunch would like to welcome THE TERRIBLE TWO's into our home for what we hope will be the third and final time! The halls of our home are now filled with the unrelenting scream-wallow on the floor-throw things-tantrum- that make her stop breathing-- that only an almost-2 year old can do. And I hate it. Hate. It.

Maggie is a sweetie pie with reddish brown Shirley Temple locks, and blue-green eyes that simultaneously spit charm and fire. As the only girl, granddaughter & niece, you can only imagine how spoiled she is. It only takes two blinks from those long lashes and everyone around her gives her exactly what she wants. Will, of course, is the worst among us. Whatever Mags wants, she gets. Pacification of her squeals and demands is Will's number one mission in life. And she has learned very quickly what it takes to get everyone around her to do her bidding.

And honestly, I thought Will was bad at 2, and in being honest, he is still difficult, but Maggie the Terrible is possibly worse because she doesn't just act bad, she talks bad. By that I mean, her vocabulary far exceeds her age and she uses her words to slice you in half, scream high pitched darts at you, and when all else fails and she doesn't get her way, you are mean. At least 30 times a day I hear, "Mommy's mean," "Daddy's mean," "Will's mean." At first it was cute but it got old really fast.

As if hearing her tattle on everyone in the house constantly wasn't bad enough, she is starting to write on herself, write on other things, climb on cabinets, and do things that would make Will proud. Ugh. He is probably instructing her to do all of this stuff behind my back. That sounds like something out of the Will Play Book, doesn't it? He is probably getting lots of satisfaction seeing Maggie carry on in his footsteps. And I am not really sure I can handle an entire year of sassy back-talk AND mischievous behavior from ANOTHER child. Seriously.

So tonight, in the midst of one of her "testing moments," I parked her hiney in Time Out for 2 minutes. I have tried Time Out with Will at least a billion times in 2 years and it fails miserably because he would rather eat nails than give me the satisfaction of sitting there and reforming his attitude. But to my shock, not only did Maggie sit in Time Out for the entire 2 minutes, sobbing her eyes out with remorse, but she also got up at the end of her 2 minutes, apologized and hugged me. Hallelujah! Maybe all that practice with Will was paying off. Or maybe, despite her new new found Terribleness, she isn't nearly as Terrible at Two as her brother. One can hope, right?

I love my children at all ages but there are stages that I just really can't stand. Terrible Two's is one of them. I am not rushing her to grow up. After all, she doesn't even turn 2 until April 3rd. But, if she wants to move past this awful, terrible stage faster than slow, that would be alright with me. In the mean time, I am doing my best to just be mean.

I am Not a Maid...

Will and I don't have a ton of great days. We have good days. We have okay days. We have more bad days than I care to admit. As Will gets older, I think I see that we are a little similar. He is bossy. He is independent. He is stubborn. He is determined. All of those things are great for a grown up. I want him to be all of those things. I just don't want all of these things to exist under one roof between a 3 and 30 year old. (Might as well add Maggie to the headcount because she is just like us). Will is strong-willed. I think I wrote a blog all about it once---and how I even read a book to try to remedy it. Let me just say, that the only advice that I garnered from the book that was helpful was to let Will be Will, to love him and mold him and to try to use and appreciate his gifts, no matter how frustrating they can be. I am trying. And I am trying to remember that one day, I really do want him to be a little bossy, a little independent, a little stubborn and very determined. One day.

So like I said, some days are good, some days aren't. But today...today was a GREAT day with Will! First, it was pajama day and for whatever reason, Will loved the idea of going to school in his pajamas. (This is a far cry from Ian, who never trusts days like this. Afraid that he dressed out of character on the wrong day or might some how be embarrassed by my arrangement of a costume, he always makes me pack an extra pair of "normal clothes" with us just in case. AND, we have to watch 5 people exit their vehicle dressed in a similar get-up as he is wearing before he will make his way to class. Seriously, the things you cannot read in a book about parenting.) Will reminded me twice last night that it was pajama day. He picked out the PJ's he wanted to wear. He rounded up his slippers and added his new Lightening McQueen bathrobe for good measure. He slept in his PJ's last night, too, so they would have the "slept-in bed look." There were no fights this morning over wardrobe---an after Christmas miracle.

It was pajama day for Maggie, too, but she only seemed excited because Will was so happy. I was trying to enjoy her giggles over wearing slippers outside because there will come a day in the not- too-distant future when she won't be caught dead outside the house in her pajamas, with pink fuzzy slippers and her hair pulled back in a pony tail. Did I mention that I wish I could keep her with the giggles and not have to face the drama that will come in the future? Her wardrobe meltdowns will probably make Will's look like a day at the beach!

I have my first audition event of the year coming up in three weeks. I changed the format this year so everything will be new and different and working out all of the details is stressing me out. I know in the end it will all come out fine but until it is over, I have asked my family to let me work in my office as much as possible without interruption. After school was out and Maggie was down for nap, Will apparently asked me if he could have a Coke. Huddled under a pile of papers on my desk and a crisis on my desktop, I am certain he asked if he could put on his coat. I mumbled "yes" and went back to my screen. He went to the fridge, popped open a Coke and put it in a Koozie. (the kid in going to have drinks in koozies down to a science by the time he gets to college...)

After slurping it down in what I am sure was less than 5 minutes, he started to get a little busy body. He came back to my office and asked if he could help me. "No" was my response. "Why don't you go get a book and come read it to me while I work." I needed to feel a little like an engaged parent. He went to his room and came back empty-handed. He walked passed my door and went to the kitchen. Then to the living room. Then to the playroom, then back down the hall. I figured he was up to no good, well, because Will is always up to no good. Back in the living room, I heard movement but nothing breaking so I went back to my stack. 2 minutes later, I was startled with a loud sound. No, it wasn't the TV shattering on the floor. It was the vacuum. I jumped up to find Will vacuuming the living room. He had folded all of the blankets, straightened the pillows and returned all of the toys/books to their proper locations. I gave him a thumbs up and headed back to my office thinking it wouldn't last long. But the vacuum kept going. I got up every few minutes to ensure that he hadn't lost interest and left the vacuum running to act as the cover for the no good noise and nonsense that he was really up to. Never put it past Will to create a diversion.

But I was wrong. He vacuumed the living room, kitchen & dining room. He cleaned up all of the toys throughout the house. He cleaned and straightened the playroom. He wiped off the cabinets in the kitchen. He got the dust mop and did a once over. (I vacuumed and mopped all of these rooms yesterday but I didn't care at all). At the completion of his work, he came to get me for my seal of approval. I was so proud---he did an excellent job. It wasn't 3 year old clean up. It was really cleaned up. I gave him some treats, hugged him immensely, praised him for all of his effort, got the phone so he could tell his Dad & get more praise, and did my best to let him know that this is the Will I love best. Because I have so much work to do, I went back to my office, rewarding Will with some TV time. Instead of taking me up on my offer, he went to the playroom. I thought he was going to start working to undo all of his hard work but instead, he started going through the bins to toss toys he didn't play with anymore "for the kids at the shelter that don't have a Mommy as great" as his. Wow.

I was so impressed! He proudly showed off his work when his Dad came home from work. I am sure Josh was happy. Will is much better at house work than me! When Josh left to take Ian to basketball practice, he took Maggie too. Will chose to stay home with me. He brought me the cereal box and asked if he could eat cereal for supper. I told him he could just this one time if he ate some spaghetti later, too. He shook for the deal and then accidentally shook the box too hard, sending some Fruity Pebbles onto his nicely polished floor. I said, "Awe, man, Will. Now the floor will have to be vacuumed again." He looked at me and said, "Well you are going to have to do it yourself. I already vacuumed this house one time today and I AM NOT a maid!"

At least I know he was listening....

Something Special

As a parent, I think the hardest thing to endure is to watch your child hurt; physically, emotionally, spiritually. You want to take on all of their suffering, endure their burdens for them, no matter the cause. Of course, part of life is enduring the many obstacles, mountains, and anguish that life gives and doing so provides life lessons, builds character, and establishes a reality about life. Whether it's a pain that is as small as the prick of a finger or the devastation that comes with real loss, both are as painful (if not more) for the parent as for the child. And even though I haven't been at this parenting thing very long, I don't imagine that watching your child suffer gets any easier--in fact, I am sure that as children grow and life's pain is more tangible, the experience is harder on Mom & Dad. But that pain, those hardships, those mountains have to be climbed by children, no matter how much as a parent, you wish you could stand in their place.

 I have been very fortunate that I have not had to steer my children, yet, through too many painful moments. Of course, there have been scraped knees, hurt feelings, and wonder if God really answers prayers. We have endured a couple of surgeries, some bunk bed calamities, and even some real tears, but we have not bared the burdens that some people have. We've been blessed.

Tonight was one of those times when I prayed with my child to ease his burden and heavy heart. Ian's great grandfather (his biological mother's paternal grandfather) passed away from a heart attack. Ian had not seen him in about a year but there was a time in his life when he saw him once a month and they both shared a love of trains. I wasn't sure what to expect from Ian when Josh and I told him. Kids react to death far differently than adults and Ian hasn't really lost anyone close to him at this age, where he actually understands what is happening.

His reaction was at first a little shock and then came the tears. As my arms swallowed him, I felt my own tears sting my face. Not because I knew this man particularly well but because I know my child holds a place of love in his own heart for him. I whispered words of comfort while simultaneously praying for guidance. Ian was upset that he didn't get to see him one more time. I was kicking myself for not taking him to visit over the last year. I used this as an opportunity to remind him that none of us ever know when our time on Earth is over and that it is important to always treat every day and every encounter with others like it might be a last time. He sobbed harder. And my heart broke harder and the quiet tears falling from my eyes started to dampen his hair.

Then he looked up at me, tears suddenly stopped, and asked, "Mom, was Grandpa Dale baptized?" I felt the panic hit my throat because I honestly didn't know the answer. He continued, "Because if he wasn't, he didn't go to Heaven and I will never get a chance to see him again." My breath left me. On one hand, I was a very proud Momma. For a child to grasp even that much of Eternity is remarkable. But at the same time, I knew I had to tread carefully. I didn't want to upset his tender mind and heart---Ian is a worrier and he would spend the rest of his life pondering his own part in someone else's eternity. That is the heart that God gave him.

I just wrapped him in my arms and whispered that this conversation was one he needed to have with his grandfather, PawPaw Mike, and then I began to pray. Out loud, I thanked God for Ian, for his love of people, his heart of compassion, his precious kindness. I prayed for his comfort and peace, for his burdened heart to be lightened. I also prayed that the Lord would use all of Ian's special gifts, to give him guidance on the man he is supposed to become. I prayed for my own guidance to help him become that man. And I prayed that Ian would always know God's love and grace, that he would never abandon the heart he has now, and that he would always care about the eternity of those around him. We sat quietly for a few minutes and then he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "You are the best gift God has ever given to me, Momma. I really mean that. I hope you know I am always going to remember this moment and you praying over me like that. I felt God holding us right then, loving us together. We are something special, you and me." Yes we are, Ian. So special.

Ian went to bed shortly after and he seemed comforted. I sat on the couch and quietly prayed a prayer of thanks for God allowing me to raise this special child. What a gift. To love him. To share such a touching moment with him. Truly something special.