Sunday, September 18, 2011

Being a "Crazy Crab"

I wish I could say I was one of those moms who was peppy and cheerful and sweet to her children all of the time. I wish I was one of those women who woke up before my family every morning and had a hot, steaming breakfast on the table for everyone when they got up. I wish I was a little more June Cleaver and a little less Peg Bundy.

Dressed as Peg Bundy
Halloween 2009
Seriously. I wish my house were cleaner. I wish I had endless patience. But despite my best efforts, I am not June. Some days, I probably make Peg look desirable as a Mom. I get tired. I get grumpy. And when that happens, my kids see a little a lot of Cruella Deville.

It has been a busy week for me. Add major sinus issues and I feel like I've been run over by a truck a couple of times. This morning, all I really wanted to do was put my pillow over my face and stay in bed. But alas, at 6:30am, Mags whispered "Momma" right into my ear. I pretended I couldn't hear her. She turned up her volume. I still didn't move. She laid there a minute so I thought maybe she was going back to sleep. Instead, she pinched my nose as hard as she could and said, "Beep, Beep!" I was awake.

As soon as my feet touched the floor, I heard Ian bolt out of bed. He had probably been awake for an hour and was patiently waiting for me to get up. He always wakes up early. And he is always peppy. He was ready for breakfast. Do I offer grits and eggs? Pancakes? Nope. Toaster Strudel or cereal? Yes. I know. I am awful. Ian chooses toaster strudel. I open the freezer in the house and realize we are all out. So I have to trudge to the freezer outside to get a new box. I feel my grumpy meter rising to my skull.

After I get the toaster going, I start getting ready for church. While I am always happy about being at church, I am never thrilled about the process it is to actually get to church. I have to pick out clothes for 5 people, dress 5 people, brush the hair and teeth of 4 people. I seem to always be searching for a matching sock or shoe, yelling at kids to keep still so their freshly ironed clothes don't wrinkle before we walk out of the house. It is total chaos and I am anything but a loving, doting mother throughout this process. By the time I get to church, I am literally exhausted and feel like I spend the first 10 minutes repenting for all of the mean, evil, awful, unmotherly ways I acted before I got there. It is me at my very worst.

School mornings are stressful---Josh isn't even here on school mornings---but getting ready for church always seems so much more stressful. I have no idea why. Maybe because he is here? :) In the car this morning driving over, I thought, how on Earth did my grandmother ever get 5 children out the door to church without losing her mind? I can barely manage with 3! But we made it--on time. I took a little power nap this afternoon so getting to church tonight wasn't so painful for everyone. I even cooked dinner before we left. Ian told me as we were walking to the car after church tonight, "Mom, I know you have been a lot grumpy today. Just know that Jesus loves you all the time. Even when you are a crazy crab." And it is that knowledge that helps me get through the day.

No comments:

Post a Comment