Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Importance of Being Honest...

Have you ever been lied to? It hurts, right? When your 3 year old is the one doing the lying, I think it hurts a little more. How could I raise a child capable of such twisted tales? How could he figure out to be deceptive at such a young age? He is, afterall, only 3. But then I remember, this is Will we are talking about.

Will and Ian came inside from playing in the backyard. After 5 minutes, they were "dying." Ian asked me to read with him. Will retreated to the playroom. Maggie was closely behind. As Ian and I were reading, I noticed that Will and Maggie were quiet---too quiet. I called to him and asked what he was doing. "Playing with trucks" came the response. I then heard a couple of trucks knock together. I went back to reading with Ian. A few minutes later, Will came to the kitchen and grabbed the baby wipes off the counter. I inquired as to why he needed wipes. He responded, "Maggie needs me to wipe her shirt." I asked him to put the wipes back on the counter, fearing that he would pull them all out of the container. I assumed he was actually cleaning his monster trucks. If only that were the case.

When Will returned the wipes to the counter, I noticed he was doing it quickly and trying to stay out of my sight. Obviously, knowing him like I do, I knew something was up. I went to him and noticed that he had something on his hands--it looked like marker but he had done a pretty good job wiping it off with the baby wipes. On closer inspection, I realized he smelled like paint. Maggie walked in from the playroom and I realized she had played his canvas. My reaction was to ask "Will, why on Earth did you paint your sister?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Maggie told me to." Now, Maggie is very bright and she knows a lot of words. "Bubba, please paint me" is not among them.

I took Maggie to the bathroom and got her cleaned off (before thinking to take a picture). I then went to the playroom to discover that Will used my ironing board to climb up on the counter, and get into the cabinet where I keep all of the paints. In his defense, he did use a piece of paper as a palette for all of his paint selections and a brush to complete his artistic creation on his sister. The mess was actually minimal. I was not shocked or suprised at his level of mischief. Afterall, this is Will. I was however, very taken aback by his lies and his willingness to deceive me. That is not Will's style. He is not ashamed to tell me that he is bad. Normally, he would present his Masterpiece Maggie to me, proud of his genuis. Not today. He didn't even try to use John Payton as a scapegoat.

After everyone was clean, I sat Will down on the couch to ask him why he felt the need to lie to me about what he had done. "I can't spell the words" was his response. When I told him he could tell me, he simply remained silent. I then went on to tell him that being honest was the most important thing he could ever be, it was the most important virtue he could ever have. I gave him the lecture on The Boy Who Cried Wolf and added our house rule that if you lie, you get in twice as much trouble as if you are honest about your indiscretion. No reaction. So then, I pulled out the big guns. "Will, I am extremely disappointed in you for lying to me and for painting your sister."  And there came the waterworks. I told him I loved him but I was disappointed and he was going to room. Miserable wails came from his room. "I waaaant myyyyy Maggie Moo...I want my Maggie" came in between sobs. After 10 minutes, I went in there to reinterate the lesson and he immediately cleared his tears, as if on cue. We talked about the dangers of lying and then I told him he had to stay in his room for 20 more minutes. He ended up staying for 2 hours because all of that art made him tired and he needed a nap.

When I returned from Will's room after the lecture, Ian said, "Watching you punish Will was painful. It made me want to cry. I mean, he deserved it, but it sure was tough to see that." I said, "Ian, it was a lot harder for me to punish him. I don't like having to be mean but my job is to teach you right from wrong." Ian said, "I know and lying is bad. Someone should have taught Casey Anthony about being honest." And he is right. We probably don't honor honesty as much as we should anymore. Lying has become commonplace in a lot of areas in our society. However, it won't be tolerated as a norm in the Burgess house. I think if we strive to do anything, the least that we can do is be honest--Whether it is testifying before a jury or telling our Mom that we just painted our baby sister. There is a lot of importance in being honest. 

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